- The Magazine for Brahmins
Brahmins and Inter-Caste Marriages
Come September, comes this topic, as the cover story of Brahmin Today.
Our out burst, authentic arguments and uncompromising opposition towards the Inter-caste marriages by Brahmin boys and girls, have neither seemed to have given any awakening or any impact even to a small circle, group or section of younger generation of Brahmin community. The nods of approval, words of appreciation and pats of encouragement all come from our elders only, who, unfortunately, could not implement any of the substance of our elaboration, either in their own life now, or of their sons and daughters in future.
Never the less, and knowing fully this paradox, we wish to continue our Solomon sermon and intent to explain one more aspect of this never ending struggle. We happen to hear, in recent times, about a rethinking and a counter resolve of some of our Brahmin elders. They have begun to regret the staunch opposition they used to hold against Inter-caste marriage.
They allow a doubt to grow in their mind, whether the strict enforcement of marriage ethics of Brahmin community had been one of the causes of their dear sons not getting married and remain bachelors for so long. Some wonder, whether searching only for a Brahmin bride, that too; if and when all the parameters of both – the bride and bridegroom are matched have brought this pathetic situation and pale future.
Would it have been wrong to allow or encourage the other caste girls to enter in our house as daughter-in Law, especially when they are educated, good looking and well mannered? Which hell would have fallen from the sky to instigate our sufferings, than the agony of watching in despoil and despair of keeping our sons unmarried?
Could we, with the means of Inter-caste marriage, have found a solution to the arrogant, arbitrary and unreasonable attitude of our Brahmin brides?
These and so many thoughts similar to this kind of remorse, regretful and retrospective sentiments are getting a place in the heart and mind of our Brahmin elders nowadays. While we understand the basis, sympathize with the grief and aware of the situation, we certainly differ with reasoning, denounce the solution and determined to put forth our views against this fallacy. Late marriages and Inter-caste marriages are two major problems, looming over the lovely future of our Brahmins lads. They are very different in nature and content, have no connection between them and never can be a solution to each other.
It is a fallacy, to put it mildly, foolish, to picture it correctly and fatal, to warn properly, to think, if not believe, that Inter-caste marriage will reduce the incidence of late marriages and without much hardship for our eligible bachelors will get their girls of choice.
Inter-caste marriage is a instant decision, taken autonomously, encrypted on personnel benefits and evolved upon so many experiences and expectations. It is a trespass attempted against the tradition and culture without any regard or regret.
The ‘other-caste’ girls are well aware and fully understand the complex, comprehensive rituals and spiritual compulsions of being a Brahmin daughter-in-Law. They know the sacrifices they have to make in food, dress and social habits. The bond and affection displayed in a typical middle class Brahmin house hold may look strange and irritating to a non-Brahmin bride on several occasions.
Despite and in spite of all the above deterrents, love marriages do happen between Brahmin boys and other girls, we agree. But exceptions never can be rules, nor could form as solutions. We should search the real reasons of late marriages and find a lasting solution for that menace at the earliest. But creating a bigger problem is not the way out.